Love the fact that I can laugh at what flips me out! Waves of depression keep trying to lasso me but I am NOT going down. It is a real struggle to not give in but been there, done that.
How the hell did we get here..? Music gives words so much more POWER. I'd love it if certain people could tap into my head at times. Here, check this out! Don't you know that I am a walking contradiction ? I reveal...
Suicide. ..Breakdowns..Just fucking literally dropping DEAD. Criminal accidents? AIDS. Parkinsons. Murder. Rape. Yes, this is all part of my story and I can not believe it. I also can not believe that I come out unscathed for the most part.
Am I burying all of it, becoming numb? When I rattle it off to myself it seems surreal. Guess I should be greatful that "joy division" moments have virtually ceased.
Modest Mousing. Pacific Coast Highway. I am not myself. I could drive right off the cliff without fear. I am not myself and I like it. I could do many things I would not normally do in this "mode".
I'm feeling honey dripped, slow but empowered. I don't want reality to mess this up. I want this feeeeeeeeeling to be MY reality.